Cycle Sluts from Hell was an American metal band of four female vocalists, whose only hit was the cheerful – and the widely forgotten I Wish You Were a Beer (music video at the end of this post). The names of the singers were also unmistakable: Queen Vixen, She-Fire of Ice, Honey One Percenter and Venus Penis Crusher. The latter had to use the form Venus P. Crusher on MTV, though. Cycle Sluts from Hell’s career was not a long one, as the actual active years were between 1986 and 1992. However, the band did play a couple of on-off gigs between 2006 and 2007.

The backing band and forces of Cycle Sluts from Hell included names such as Fernando Rosario aka JD Malo (Smashed Gladys), Bobby Gustafson (Overkill), Scott DuBoys (Warrior Soul), Pete Lisa aka Lord Roadkill and Tom Von Doom (The Great Kat), the latter of whom also co-wrote I Wish You Were a Beer. Producer Daniel Rey (Ramones, Misfits) is also mentioned as a contributor of some kind for the band.

The band came from New York, where they were well known, at least in local music scene. This is evident from interviews and backroom videos on YouTube, including Joey Ramone hanging out with Cycle Sluts. The band’s members had already made a name for themselves in the city’s rock and biker scenes as bar workers. Cycle Sluts from Hell also toured with many well-known artists and bands, including Danzig, Janes Addiction and Motörhead.

Cycle Sluts from Hell’s only album of the same name remained the band’s only release. However, the video for I Wish You Were a Beer was given a nice boost by Beavis & Butthead. And no wonder, as the song hasn’t aged at all (at least musically) in over thirty years.

Hey there poser

You look pretty stupid to me

Hey there poser

All dressed like a wanna-be

Hey there poser

Creeping towards the door

Hey there poser

I wish you were a beer!